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Review:SiriuslyPeeved says:
This was captivating; Ariana's point of view is beautifully brought across. I actually really liked your dialogue -- I think it fits well with the tone of the piece. Aberforth is a little awkward anyway, in canon, and his terse words are fitting.

I loved your use of musical terminology, it blends very nicely into the description as a whole. I loved the idea of Aberforth slipping a bit with "accidental rubato". he does not strike me as the most disciplined pianist. (I have quite a soft spot for him!)

Punctuation notes as you requested: :) "No-one" does not need a dash, at least not in American usage. Also, "pick-up sticks" only needs one and "side by side" does not need any.

Here is a small thought on word choice, I'm not entirely sure that this passage has an optimum flow with "brain" used:

Ariana feels as though her own brain could sweep her away(...)

Perhaps another word would go better in place of "brain," though I know your choices are few. Sorry not to offer any concrete suggestions, though.

I loved the last paragraph and the idea that ghosts can't move on until their loved ones accept their passing... that was personally moving to me.

I wonder about the identity of Aberforth's friend: you don't need to answer me, but my curiosity is piqued! Thanks for your request, I'm really glad I read this.

Author's Response: Thanks Mary ♥ I find dialogue really hard to get right... I don't really know what makes excellent dialogue and I tend to write much more descriptive pieces now so I feel out of practice almost :P Thanks for the notes on the punctuation, I think I give up trying to understand the English language! Aberforth's friend is just that... a friend. I felt he needed to have someone there to comfort him because I don't feel like Albus would have done and I didnt want him to be all alone! thanks so much for the lovely review!

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