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Review:long_live_luna_bellatrix says:
There were a lot of grammar mistakes here, including two words like "of course" and "each other" used as one instead of two, tense switches, and spelling errors, even with Harry's own name. You also forgot sometimes that when a new character speaks you need to create a new paragraph. I recommend getting a beta over at the forums, which is someone who will proofread your story for exactly those things. You can request one in a separate part of the Help Needed section. I know you said to ignore the spelling mistakes in your AN but honestly a neat story will catch a lot more readers. Writers that use proper grammar and spelling show that they care for their story and gain much more respect.

The thing that was confusing about this story was that you mentioned at the beginning Luna and Harry were a couple, but then the way you described them after Slughorn's party made it sound like they weren't a couple yet. So I assumed they weren't together throughout Luna's shouting match, but then when she said he'd cheated on her I realized you intended the reader to know they'd been in a relationship. That whole idea could use a little clearing up.

The actual idea of the story was good, it fit in with Taylor Swift's song nicely as the plot developed. I also liked Luna's biting line, "Please Harry, save your lips for Ginny Weasley."


Author's Response: Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I think I'am deffently going to fix up the grammar now because almost every reveiw has said so. So, thanks! (: Anyways, i understand what you mean about the beging I will try to clear that up too. |

Welll... i hope you like it a bit?


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