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Review:Prongs05JP says:
Heya Kate! I'm here with the review that I feel I owe you (you made me laugh when you said you'd be honoured for me to read it, so I thought I'd leave you a review too!) XD
So. This chapter, overall: I like it :) Lily seems like a really great character, I can't wait to see her progress through the story! So the titles all about her being contrary to people's belief of her; so why don'cha show off a little bit what people think of her in the next few chapters? Okay, so I know that you've already written a whole load more, I'm just slow, Kay?? XDD Don't judge me...
Only a few things I picked up on in here that didn't sit quite right with me. "I arrived swirling in green flame in my grandparents' kitchen and of course fall straight on my face." Stick with one tense; either say "I arrive.. etc and fall straight on my face" or "I arrived... etc and FELL straight on my face" - it's just more *puts on nerdy glasses* grammatically correct. *takes glasses off*. It makes your sentance flow better!!
Also. Do you want nan to be capitalized or non-capitalised? 'Cause it changed throughout and I wondered.. :) And my only other crit is that the canon characters are a little bit, well, out of character... but I'll put that down to creative license ;) Ron was perhaps a little too defensive; if you want him and Gin to have a fight, take your time! You're the author, the readers wanna read what you write, no matter how long it is :D
Anyways, my little rants over (I'm so sorry for complaining! -_-) it's now time for the pros!
Lily's inner dialogue was pretty cool, a really good way of introducing the characters with a little bit of humour. I can't wait to see Lils develop, and what happens later on in the story - I really liked this, so I'll deffo read on and review your other chapters!
ALSO. I'm a guy, and I enjoyed this! It's funny, imaginitive and I want to read on :D So seriously wonder no more... James (or Nick, as I'm known on here usually) is here!!
Fab chapter, I'd like to see where this goes ;)
9/10
--J xx

Author's Response: You just made my day! Thanks so much for the review and for being so thorugh and awesome :) I thought I fixed all the tenses! Argh, I'll have to go back for that one. I know my canon characters tend to be a little OOC, it just happens when I write, so thanks for undertsanding that. I'm really gald you liked it, it makes me so very happy to read a review, especially from someone as awesome as yourself! :D

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