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Review:Ravenclaw333 says:
I can't really comment on your areas of concern as yet with only one chapter, sorry. I did warn you that I am like your English teacher when it comes to spelling and grammar, so I hope you'll forgive me for picking a few bones.
1. Capitalisation: You capitalise some words that really don't need to be capitalised: carpet, children's, walls, etc, and remember I and the start of sentences need capitalisation.
2. Spelling: There are a few errors with regard to spelling; spell check on your word processor should show them.
3. Punctuation: There are a few places where you've missed question marks, but overall it's not too bad.
4. Tense: You change tense halfway through from present to past, try and keep it consistent.
I've deliberately avoided correcting individual errors in this review, but if you want me to I'd be quite happy to, just let me know on the forum. Sorry about all the technical aspects, it seems an interesting idea so far :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much. As to spelling, my word Processor does not have spell check so i'll go back and find those. I'm looking for a Beta for this but no luck so far. Your review means a lot to me.

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