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Review:Nadia says:
Hi there!

I just can't leave this story without a review.
At the beginning I want to warn you that English isn't my native language, so I probably will make few (or more) mistakes, grammatical or just use words incorrect - then just try to find a synonym which fits. And forgive me ^^.
I'm writing it during the story, not after, by the way.
Okay, you are officially warned ^^.
The first thing which makes me think is that at the beginning it seems to me that they barely know each other (especially with her prejudice), but this kind of, ehm, favor... They have to be someone more than just a classmates. Maybe not best friends, but you know, no one that scared of people like her wouldn't let anyone like Sirius get to her that easy, even if she - kind of - fancies him. She obviously has a problem with trusting other people (especially popular ones).
Second thing: this is the 70's. Great Britain. Stiff people. And you have to remember that even though Sirius wasn't like his family, he was aristocrat. Hs parents brought him up in an aristocratic way. And behavior like this (kissing in front of everyone, especially pushing someone against the wall) was something unacceptable. For aristocrats and, I think, also for other British people. But I'm not an expert, it's just a feeling.
"It was cruel and unusual punishments to have placed the kitchens so far away from Gryffindor tower while the Slytherins and Hufflepuffs - definitely less deserving - had their Common Rooms so close." Definitely less deserving and definitely not-knowing :P. This whole secret-passageways thing was, as I wrote, secret. The Marauders' secret. I can believe that there were some people, important for Marauders like for example Ellie now, but she thought that like everyone knew. And obviously from books - they didn't.
Okay, that moment with "I was thinking but don't remember about what I was thinking, but it was something about Sirius" in Sirius' presence was false (fake?, God, I don't know if any of it is correct xD). She knows what she thinks about Sirius and - for sure - she doesn't want him to know that she thinks of him too much. Or in oh-I-am-so-in-love-and-I-don't-know-what-to-do way. It would be just too awkward for her. She wouldn't admit that she was thinking about him. She is shy, self-contained and so unsure of herself.
...
Oh Merlin, I'm speechless. Or maybe writeless.
This is NOT what I was expecting. But... I think that's good. Really, this ain't story for romantic ones :P. God, I still don't know what to think. The ending is certainly the strongest point of the story. Including this moment with Peter after, hmm, that. I was still confused and it was really strange... Yay, the ending - good one. I forgot about few things I wanted to write and I have the impression that it doesn't matter, so I just leave it. Huh, you've got me :P.
Okay, I'm done with review. It become too hard xD.

I was wondering, if you can recommend me something. But, sorry - not like this :D. I don't regret reading it - of course I'm not! But I want to read something, well, which Is not that confusing xD. Funny parts, romantic parts, other parts, but easy ones xD. I saw that you have a lot of favourite stories, so maybe pick about five (less, more), the favourite ones ^^. If you have a time and will, of course.
Thanks for reading and for surprising me - it really doesn't happen often :D.

Greetings!,
Nadia

Author's Response: Thanks very much for reading and reviewing, Nadia! Your English is very good - you don't have to worry at all about how well it sounds. :)

You've pointed out some important aspects of the story. I was rushing through the beginning of the story, mostly because I wanted it to be very short - originally, it was only meant to be 4 chapters, but even that ended up being too short - and partially because I was so excited about my idea for the ending. Then what you said about the Marauder's knowledge of secret passages is entirely true - I've never been able to understand just how much others knew about what the Marauders were up to, even if they knew about the nicknames. It's so hard to write this era for that reason.

As for Eleanor being constrained, I don't know - Sirius definitely reveals to her a new side of herself, and she was always too socially awkward to fully realize just what was "proper" and what wasn't. And she knows that her physical relationship with Sirius is scandalous - it's part of the attraction for her, that she can have what she believes the other girls to have already had. In some ways, though, this story is meant to be a parody of Marauder-era stories - leading readers through the common conventions of teen romance, whether it be realistic or not. That's where the ending comes in as a surprise - even you were shocked! :D I'm glad that you were, though, as that's just what I wanted readers to feel. It was so much fun to write that part, knowing what effect it would have on both readers and Eleanor. Then adding Peter in at the end entirely overturns the conventions of Marauder-era stories, as he's always left out. ;)


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