I apologize in advance, this isn't going to have much of criticism toward you or your writing.
I know that no piece is ever perfect, but, dear, I think you've outdone yourself. This is pure magnificence in it's truest and purest form.
There weren't any grammatical or spelling errors that I caught which can only make this piece all the more beautiful. Aside from realisation (which I only noticed when I was trying to show you my favorite lines) which should be realization. Unless, that's a British spelling that I don't know about. Then don't mind me, and my Americanism.
I loved first of all the description and the flow of the piece. It flowed so easily together. There was nothing jarring or out of place. It was all woven so craftily and spun so sinuously that nothing could be taken out of here without making the piece sound terribly out of place in some shape or form.
Though, this whole piece was beautiful, I think that these were my favorite lines:
The air is thinner here, she finds. She sees and thinks with more clarity than she ever did during her lifetime; things are simpler when everything she touches is dead, unharmed by her. She is free of stigma, free of rules and free from the confines of her home.
The aching hole in her wasted heart feels as though it is mending, piecing itself back together stitch by stitch. Yet, impossibly, the wound hurts even more. It bleeds and spasms, the dull ache stronger. How can this hurt so much? The pain is renewed, the scab reopened. It has always been there, this mark of grief, this hole left by a terrible loss; time heals all wounds, eventually.
“Wasn’t there?” he mutters evenly, frowning. His voice is heavy, so heavy that it seems to crush him.
White mist curls around her limbs, the scene before her fades. She returns to her lonely world with a realisation: the ghosts are not the ones doing the haunting. It is the memories of those that are left behind that prevent them from leaving.
The narration was gorgeous. Generally, second person can be irritating, but you did this very well. I applaud you for that.
The characterizations were spot on, I felt, and so tragically beautiful. I especially liked that Aberforth was having a hard time coping. It just seemed him seem more human from the grumpy old man that we see in the Harry Potter books.
Besides, I don't think that anyone could fully heal from an experience like this.
Also, I think that this is a fresh perspective. Everyone wants to write this scene (myself included) from Albus Dumbledore's perspective. Yet you wrote this from Aberforth's and Ariana's.
It was absolutely enchanting.
Please excuse me while I die from how wonderful your writing is. You smother me with your skill.
Author's Response: oh my gosh -grins stupidly- thank you SO SO much Linders! I can't think of a coherent response, maybe I should leave responding until later, but I want to reply now! Reading back on the bits you quoted, I have to feel surprised that I wrote them - I remember deliberating over them and rewording them and at the end of it all i wondered if it made any sense at all :P but to hear you liked it makes me so so happy! you're a star, thanks for reviewing! ♥