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Review:Mistress says:
Aw, you're SO welcome! So here are my thoughts as I read through:

Hey Al! Packed all your dresses for Hogwarts, yeah?
-HAHAHAH

Before I can even take a glance behind me, I go rolling down the stairs, pretty sure I am screeching like a little girl.
-This is a great line. I love how he's pretty sure he's screeching like a girl. Fantastic!

Ally Pee Pants was one of them.
-Have you seen The Wedding Date?

Sometimes I mouth the worlds along with them.
-This is great. It really shows how fed up Albus is with what people say. It says he wants to be his own person, not live in a shadow. But it also shows he's proud of who his father is.

He gave Seeker to Bree Palmer (I despise her) and stationed me with the Chasers.
-FANTASTIC intro of the characters. I love knowing he wanted Seeker. But he wanted it for the wrong reason. I'm curious to know about James's past as a Beater.

I hugged him. We never mentioned it.
-This is something my James would say, haha. Love it.

I am not lying, Lils. Now get your arse up and sit on my suitcase,
-Also love this because it takes normality and sticks it in with carrying the plot forward.

Do you know that girl, Al? Dad asks me. Of course I do! Ive hated her since I was twelve years old. Damn her.
-Does Harry go to the Quidditch games? I was wondering if he might know her since both she and Al have been on the same team for years.

So yay!! What a great first chapter. I really like that you got a lot of things laid out before you really start up the plot. You got through some of the characters, you set up Al's bitterness toward his older brother and teammate, and the other baggage he carries. I think it might have come off really strong, his bitterness, and once he gets to Hogwarts I'm sure it'll tone down a bit. there just might have been a little too much wishing of violence on other people that his charming side didn't really shine through like I know it will! I can't wait to see Albus at Hogwarts and the way he reacts differently there. And especially when James isn't around.

As for my awesome mention in the Author Note, you are more than welcome. I appreciate the mention! You definitely have to keep writing! Keep giving sensory details, because those really make a story great. Some more texture, little details, etc. Love it!

Keep up the fantastic work, girlie! xoxo Mistress

Author's Response: Thank you so much! (: But your deffinently the one I should be thanking :D

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