I'm here to fill out your request for a review from the forums. I hope you are well. ^_^
I must admit, I've never heard the song 'Molly Ban' before, so I decided to listen to it while I read this. I saw that one of your reviewers actually did the same and I agree that it felt really powerful, like I was transported into the town of Greenwood myself. Haha. It know it sounds weird, and believe me, it felt really odd for me too. :P
And the girl, as the people of Greenwood knew, had been dead for a year. --> this line made me shudder. It felt like I was reading a horror/suspense novel. Haha. But you know that's a good thing, right?
A few nitpicky things I noticed:
"Hey, lass, you didn't get me!" He called... --> I'm pretty sure the 'H' in He should be in lowercase.
...in the middle, as far as she was concerned, absolutely nowhere. --> I think you missed the 'of' somewhere in there.
In June, they both got the break they'd be(should be 'been') waiting for...
She'd probably need(needed) some surgery.
I like Molly's take on Muggle vs. Wizard photography. There's just something about those still pictures catching a person's (or an object's - if they ever have any) unguarded moments that make it more special, you know?
Molly was a rather stubborn person, wasn't she? But I like how she sort of developed and changed throughout this story. Like that fight they had over the three pound tip, she was rather hard-headed there; then she mellowed down a bit when she chose to waive her savings for Jimmy's car than a new camera for her. I also saw her as a very dedicated photographer. She didn't mind getting dirty just to get a good shot. Little things like that makes a character more endearing (for me, at least), so good job!
As for Jimmy, I found him funny. And quite the artist, I might add. I like seeing the world on his perspective, in a way, like that part where he described the Sergeant. Haha. And he seemed to take life less seriously than Molly.
I love how you wrote that scene where the mousy Sergeant told Jimmy that Molly was already dead, and Jimmy's first thought was how funny it was that the officer couldn't pronounce 'Weasley' - very realistic. I love it. People normally receive bad news like that; they deny first, the put up walls first before the sorrow enters the picture - you've captured that beautifully. Very nice!
As for the romance, it's not awkward at all! You really wrote this piece very, very well. I love how it all started, with Molly not at all head over heels with Jimmy in the beginning - she's rather reluctant, I think. But you developed their romance really well by showing us tidbits of their lives together. It's a tragic tale, yes, but wonderfully done. I love it! You're a very talented writer. I'm really glad you dropped by my review thread. Please feel free to request again, because I'd love to read more from you. I really enjoyed this! Keep writing! And thank you for sharing us this lovely story! ^_^
Author's Response: Hi xtinjsc!
Wow! What a fantastic review! I feel really spoiled by all your detailed feedback and kind comments. *blushes* Thank you! You truly made my day. ^_^
I'm glad you found listening to the song helpful. I must admit, I always found it to be perfectly wistful and slightly ethereal. Obviously, I have a certain weakness for Irish music, although I wasn't sure if such a dated ballad would pair well with a Next-Gen fic.
As for the slightly eerie undertone of the first paragraph, I have to admit, I'm a horror addict, so even my lighter stories probably pay homage to the genre in some small way. ;)
Thanks so much for being nitpicky and taking the time to point out my typos! I'm very nitpicky myself, so as soon I finish typing up this reply, I'm off to correct all those pesky little mistakes.
Yes, Molly is very stubborn, quite like her father, I suppose, hehe. I must say, your comments really gave me a better understanding of this story and its characters. You're right about Molly being an artist, just like Jimmy. On the surface, they were quite different, though I really think their desires and aspirations were the same, which made them compatible and attracted to each other in the first place.
I'm so glad you liked the scene with the Sergeant. It was hard for me to write--receiving bad news is a part of life I'd like to avoid. ;)
And, of course, I'm thrilled to hear that you thought the romance came off well. I hate writing mushy stuff and I know I'm guilty of making my characters too aloof when it comes to love.
Again, it was absolutely wonderful hearing from you, xtinjsc. This review was amazing. I cannot possibly express my gratitude properly. Thank you so much. I will definitely re-request from your thread in the near future. Until then, take care and be well!