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Review:momotwins says:
It's not a Founders fail at all! I really liked it. It was fantastically dark and textured, and managed to have just a taste of Middle Ages to it without being overwhelming (too much "period" style dialogue reads strangely, and the real thing is next to indecipherable). I like your interpretation of the Bloody Baron in particular. I think you got closer to the real thing than any story I've ever seen that mentioned him. Helena is perfect too, the jealousy and resentment clouding everything else about her. There's some regret there, but not enough to overcome the defiance and anger.

Favorite line: tell her to die knowing that I am her Helena, and not yours!

Wonderful job!

Author's Response: Thank you! :-)

Yeah, as far as dialogue, part of the reason I'm so afraid of writing Founders is that I'm just not knowledgeable enough as to the linguistics, vocabulary, culture, etc. So I just try to write a bit more formally and hope it's sufficient. XD

I got my inspiration for Helena's interaction with the Baron from Cedrics Blueyed Girl's "Forever Stained." I'm happy to hear you liked the characterizations!

Thanks again!

Melanie


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