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Review:Alopex says:
A couple of typos again. I spotted three but can only find two. The one I couldn't find again was "the" instead of they somewhere in the top half. You also mentioned "course" grains instead of coarse grains. And when Amun was reading the pamphlet, I'm pretty sure you meant to say fire-breathing plants and doxy eggs are prohibited, rather than not prohibited. Finally, you referred to Nocturne Alley in London, but I think JKR spelled it something like Knockturn Alley.

I'm done being picky, but I'm starting to feel like a broken record, because once again, I find myself wanting to comment on setting and characterization. Amun was great; I derived some measure of amusement from his presence . . . or, more specifically, from his bureaucratic tasks.

Kate is fleshing out nicely. Of course, we already knew she wasn't thrilled about going to London, but the little scene near the top when she fantasized about hiding out in the sphinx reinforced it.

And again, I enjoyed the pains you took to describe the setting--through the observant Kate. It is so nice to read so many details about a place. That really makes it come alive, and I feel more connected to the story. On the other hand, sometimes description is too overwhelming or not worked in very deftly, and I don't find that very enjoyable (and that's when I tell people they don't have to describe every tiny thing).

Another nice chapter! Let's see what happens to Kate next.

Author's Response: Your reviews are far too kind, but thank you nonetheless. I'll make sure to fix the typos soon, but every time I open a chapter to make the corrections, I start editing it all over again. Ooops. I am glad you liked Amun. He's a bit of a characature, I know, but he's easily the one I can picture best in my head.

Thank you again for another review!


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