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Review:onlyimagine says:
Very interesting and original!
This seems like a very promising story!
I get a very dark and gloomy feel from this story, which is good since I love things like that :P
Anyway... you have a lot of grammar mistakes.
"The woods heard all and they, the creatures of the night moved forward, curious by the sound."
-- You should have anther comma between "night" and "moved".

"Please Harry. I beg you he is only a baby. please?"
-- I think this would be better if you did it something like this "Please Harry! I beg you! He is only a baby!" You don't really need that extra please in there...

If you go back and re-read I'm sure you'll spot the other little mistakes in there ;)

But I must also point out that you tend to make random words capitalized.
"The night was Dark and eerie and the forest was Alive with dark activity."
--It's really unnecessary to have "dark" and "alive" capitalized, and as I was reading the chapter, I found I was getting distracted every time I saw something like that.

I suggest going through your chapter and checking for those kinds of mistakes before you post it, or perhaps getting a beta ;)

Author's Response: Thanks for getting back to me. Yeah I've trying to get a beta on this for 2 weeks now but ummm nobody is interested enough i guess. I do tend to make errors like this and i Appreciate you pointing them out. I intend to go back over them and fix them when i get a Beta. Thank you so much.

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