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Review:s_amy2014 says:
This is entertaining. Quite sexy, actually ;)

Some things you should watch out for is punctuation, spelling, grammar, all of that.

I don't think you should worry too much about if the story keeps the reader captivated. I think it does. I want to read more.

The personality of James is good. He's kind of funny, but maybe a bit creepy. It may be hard for some readers to like him as the main character. But I think it grasps the true way that boys think.

This is a good start!

Author's Response: Haha, wow that was a quick turnaround. Thanks! I know ~ I desperately need a beta reader. My idea of punctuation is just throwing a comma in every once in a while! I always thought that James's infatuation with Lily is a tad...stalkerish. It is intended to be a pretty...not erotic, but sexual story. I think that James and Lily were simply drawn together by an animal magnetism, and I'm trying to stay true to that~without TOO many rejections.

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