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Review:AndrinaBlack says:
Don't say that! This is not a fail at all. I think you managed really well to incorporate everything that was asked for in the challenge and to do it well.

The only critique I actually have now is that this sentense has a slightly strange word order: "She lets fly from her lips a vulgar word she learned from the boys at school." Maybe "She lets a vulgar word she learned..." instead.

I really identified in the beginning with Helena. I don't especially like the winter (most of the time) and I love the sea. You also got through the feelings of physical and emotional cold and helplessness in this. This was as a whole a very beautifully written piece. Maybe the part with the baron was a bit more rushed, but I understand that because that wasn't the main focus of this story. Helena's fear and helpless feelings are apparent there too. I must also say that you did very well with present tense. That isn't always so easy to make work. :)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm particularly glad the emotions came through, as I have never considered myself especially good at the emotional stuff. I also liked hearing that you were able to identify with the character. I appreciate all of your comments!

Melanie


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