Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:elegantphoenix says:
Hi, it's boysof_p0tterfan509 from the forums (finally) here with your review as promised! So sorry it took me forever; RL is a pain. :P

Well, I'd first like to say thank you for giving the challenge a go. I thought that you did quite well with your picture/character pairing; I have never read a Minerva McGonagall story to be quite honest, so I did not know what to expect other than the canon version of her. Your portrayal of her showed me a whole new perspective of her - as a woman with a heart and a guilty conscience. I suspect she feels it's her fault, since she had neglected to realize Tom Riddle's ulterior motives and stopped him from killing the Potters, and I can feel how sad she seems. I thought you adapted the picture into words quite nicely as well, especially the way you tied in the colors of the leaves with the comparison to Lily's "flame-like hair".

A few things I'd like to point out because I'm so finicky with grammar (sorry): "As she walked, she could recall Lily's laugh and James crooked grin." - James should be James'. and here: "She knew that Dumbledore would chid her for being so superstitious.." - I think you meant to put 'chide' instead of 'chid'. ^_^

One thing that caught me a bit off guard was the line "He'd probably resent her for being so old and telling so many stories of his parents." when you were talking about why Minerva taking Harry in would be impossible. At first, I sort of assumed that it wouldn't have worked because she would (eventually) be his teacher, but then I realized that maybe they didn't know that he was a wizard yet. So your explanation seemed to work well with the whole mourning theme - since she seemed to like the Potters so much, it would make sense that she spoke of them often - of your story. All in all, I thought you did a lovely job.

Thanks again for giving the challenge a go! :)


Author's Response: Hey there! That's okay, I know RL can be a pain. :)

I love Minerva McGonagall! Unfortunately, I've never written a story about her before now. I think I'm going to have to do it again, since I adore her so much.

Thanks, I'm pleased that you thought I did a good job adapting the picture into the story. :)

Well, I think that she knew that he was a wizard, but she didn't really think of that. Sometimes, I feel that people get on one train of thought and seem to keep going with that rather than consider all the possibilities.

Sorry that took you off guard, though. I thought it made sense. =/

Thanks for pointing out those typos. I'm usually golden as far as grammar is concerned, but I didn't really proofread this before putting it up, I'll admit. I'm an English-Lit major, so grammar Nazi's are fine by me. ;)

Thanks for the challenge!


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 168
Submit Report: