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Review:padfoot4ever says:
Darn it, I'm not signed in!

Leslie! Loving this already! I'm really interested in the character of Emmeline Vance. I actually have a story on my computer (a James/Lily) with her character in it, but she's a few years older than them and completely different from your 'Emmy'. I really like her! I like how she's not Miss Popular, gorgeous girl who Sirius is mad for. I like how she's kind of an outcast, someone who Sirius will have to get to know before he likes.
I love how you've used canon characters too and have built them backgrounds already. You've laid the foundations for a really good story in this chapter. The ritual the girls have is really interesting, I really want to see where this is going to go!
I suppose my only criticism (if you could even call it that) is to be careful of the cliched 'slutty Sirius', although you've made him more human than alot of writers tend to do with his interaction with Emmeline at the beginning. While he's a player, he's not the typical selfish idiot we tend to see in Marauder fics.
Well done!! xxx

Author's Response: HEATHER! Thanks so much for the fabulous review! I'm happy that you like it so far and how I've written Emmeline. I wanted to make her seem more like an outsider to the circle of populars, less known so when she starts hanging with Sirius more people blink and have to really think about who Sirius' new gal pal is. Not to mention, I just wanted a main character that wasn't going to be all drama all the time, even though drama is quite fun to write. But I wanted to have characters that wholesome and not popular.

Ah, yes, the ever cliche version of Sirius that seems to be in so many Sirius/OC fics. I really wanted to stray away from that side of him and make him seem more real, while at the same time keeping that playful personality that we see in the books, and I'm glad that he's come across just the way I wanted to portray him as. Anyway, thanks again! I really appreciated the extra feedback! XD


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