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Review:Northumbrian says:
Hi
This is an interesting missing moment from HBP.
I think that you have definitely found Myrtle's voice, I can certainly hear her trying to wheedle information out of Draco and I like the way he justifies opening up to her.
You've done a good job with Draco's voice, too, his sneering, dismissive, "Yeah" and a lot of his speech patterns are spot on. (Though I'll Brit-pick a couple of phrases below.) So, the voices are generally good.
But, in my opinion, Draco is not quite Draco. He has never appeared to be anything other than proud (even boastful) about his father, but you make him disappointed to see any resemblance. I also thing that you've set this story too early, if he's this remorseful about accidentally cursing Katie, why accidentally poison Ron? Simply I don't think that you make Draco desperate enough, or cowardly enough.
As for my Brit-picks, there are a few things that I simply cannot hear Draco saying "Boy was I ever wrong" is one of them and there is also at least one "I guess". British people simply do not say "I guess".
N

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