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Review:Capella Black says:
Well, I've always been a sucker for impossible and dark relationships, and this one fits the bill perfectly. I love how you manage to express so much in such a short piece of writing, and how you interspersed the introspection with narrative, so that we are given clues as to what's brought about her musings, without excessive detail.

I'm left with questions, obviously; why did she fall for him in the first place? How long did they stay together? What eventually makes her leave him? However, the clever thing about this story is that it doesn't need to answer these questions, because, at the end of the day, it isn't about their relationship - it's about the guilt and the mixed emotions she's dealing with as a result of it. That's very cool.

I also liked the way you added the occasional first person thoughts in amongst the story; the only difficulty there was when they weren't in italics, because then it was harder to interpret the POV change. However, the simple act of having these gave strength to the story, as they drove those specific points home.

My favourite line is when he mumbles I love you, and she finishes off the sentence with I hate you, I want you and I need you. That really sums up the whole piece perfectly; the way she isn't even happy to hear those words, because it isn't a love that could ever end well, it isn't that simple. And to make something that complicated in such a short piece, is really quite amazing.

Author's Response: I've also always been a sucker for impossible and dark relationships. Those relationships and stories about those relationships intrigue me alot! I’m glad you love the way how I manage to express so much in such a short piece of writing. I actually don’t like it when an author gives every detail so I try not to do it myself.

Well I myself love open stories so you are allowed to answer those questions yourself if you want to. Yeahh! You get the point of the plot. It’s not about the relationship but about the emotions she’s dealing with. That was exactly what I was trying to tell the readers.

Well it quite difficult to do that and I’m sure I made alot of mistakes with this seeing English isn’t my first language ( which makes writing a bit harder. Because I can’t always express myself fully though I try). But I’m glad it gave strength to the story.

This would probably sound arrogant but I also liked that part alot. Marlene is aware of how wrong the words are. She know it would not last but still wants to be with him. Thank you so much for your great review. I have really enjoyed all of your reviews and i hope to hear of you again.

-xoxox-

Cleopatraa


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