Sloppiness? Poor quality? I don't know if we've been reading two different stories (pardon my cheesiness), but they definitely aren't the words I would use to describe this! Honestly, I thought it was fantastic!
I usually avoid chapters as long as this because I lose interest too quickly, but this had me gripped right up until the end. Obviously there was a certain predictability in it because Colin was always going to die at some point and Astoria would marry Draco, and all Gryffindor/Slytherin stories have a certain similarity, but there was still a sort of suspense and mystery in this that kept me wanting to read on because it's such an unusual pairing and I could never be quite sure where you were going to go with it.
I have to admit, I love the idea of Astoria/Colin. It's cute. It's unique. It's very, very unlikely, and therefore totally brilliant :D In this you made them the kind of couple that I really wanted to work out and live happily ever after, which made it so much sadder that I knew they never would :( But I thought your characterisations of both of them were brilliant, and you did a great job of making them grow up and develop in their different ways as the piece progressed. It was really effective how you started it from Colin's point of view and then went into Astoria's instead of having it from hers all the way through - it really emphasised that he was dead and gone *sob* I also liked the character of Mrs Creevey - though she was only ever in the background she was really interesting.
Something else I liked (it's a pretty long list) was your take on post-war Draco/Astoria - she's often portrayed as the totally together one, somehow unaffected by the war, who is desperate to pull Draco back together, but here I thought you wrote her really well. The whole thing about the scar on her face was a really good idea, and I found it strangely moving, actually - a visual reminder of everything that happened, along with the invisible reminder of Colin haunting her...
On top of all this, your writing was just beautiful. Your descriptions are to die for! I loved this: She wasn't surprised to feel tears blossoming in her eyes, budding like flowers and bursting into life as they spilled down her cheeks like vines or creepers, the sorrow taking root in her heart until she felt the sob burst through and choke her.
Anyway, in case you haven't worked it out already, I love love loved this! Sorry for this slightly long review :D And you wrote it in TWO HOURS??? That's insane and I'm completely jealous of your writing ability. A massive 10/10 :)
Author's Response: Can I print out this review and stick it to my wall and look at it every morning? Because, oh my days, it's one of the best reviews I've ever had. Forget making my day, you just made my month, that was so lovely! (:
And yes, an unusual pairing indeed, ahha! Astoria is one of my favourite characters, so I'm always keen to write her in various guises. This is, admittedly, a very different Astoria of mine. I was browsing the ship discussion thread when I saw 'Astoria/Colin' and was a bit like 'That's an odd one!'. I also wanted to write Colin as more than the Harry fanatic, make him a bit of a deeper character, if you get me.
And, of course, I wanted to show their relationship from both sides because, obviously, they felt pretty differently about each other (here anyway!) I'm really pleased it worked out well (: the transition was also probably to reflect the way that Colin died, ergo his voice ended, and Astoria's life kind of ended too, but in a different way. Plus, I imagine, that after she'd lived next to Colin for so long, she would be pretty spooked by the fact that he'd been killed in front of her.
Yeah, I know, two hours! I was originally browsing for a banner in UFG for another fic, but saw this one that I've requested and just fell in love with it, it was beautiful.
But, wow, thank you so much! This is such a lovely review!