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Review:Inti says:
Rita!

Okay, first things first. Toby weirds me out slightly? I think it's what Lily says, no one can be that perfect. And just so we don't get confused with it being a guy thing or whatever, I'd be weirded out if it was a girl as well. I don't knowww, maybe it's the flaws in a person's character that let us attach ourselves to them? Too perfect and you just bounce off the perfection? Fear I'm not explaining myself very well, guess I'm just trying to say I completely get why Lily is a bit weirded out by it.

Now Lily. She is an absolute angel! So very, very different from fanon Lily II. No hysterics and rage and violence and flashing eyes, which you know I love :P She's just gorgeous and happy and cute and a teacher and lovely! It's really quite unusual to read, but I wish it wasn't because the perfection of it all is just love!

Possible that the little Lily/Toby world is just too perfect and destined to come crumpling down? Although that would be a terribly superangst story that I'm pretty sure this isn't. So I'll just shut up with all my doom and gloom predictions.

I really, really like how you're balancing the story so far. It can't be easy balancing so many characters, but you're doing wonderfully. Perfect, if very basic example, is how you gave Lily (and with her, Toby) the entire first half of the chapter. Then kept Lily in the second half as a peripheral figure, drawing out and establishing Rose and Molly as characters and also showing the grounds for their friendship perfectly.

It's just really good, really clever, really inventive writing! I can't wait to see more, so please give us an update soon.

Author's Response: Jack approves of my Lily! Yus! I am so glad to have you go signal on her since you're such a Lily-file yourself. And haha, I'm glad to have planted the seed of Toby doubt in you. But we've talked about this and thus won't explain you little rain cloud of doom. Thanks for reviewing Jack! Love you to bits!

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