Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:TallestTower says:
Hey there! It's Broomsticks from the forums again with your review. :)

I thought the beginning was a little confusing. Just to check, did they suddenly get called on another mission, have their memory wiped and then get placed back? But other than that the rest of the chapter was clear and detailed!

The Kendra/Doyle moment was so sweet - even if they have to show off a little bit. Honestly, I do love those two.

This chapter was much more dramatic and dark. The way they have their memories wiped is horrible - and the fight with the two Men was really horrific. I thought the walk down the street was very eerie, and you built the suspense well.

I thought that the man may have not used Sectumsempara because that was a spell that Snape invented and was probably not well known - but that's just what I think, it's not canon or anything... I mean, it could have easily spread. The fight was really good and tense, and very creepy when that man is trying to lure her out.

- Description

The description was great and I thought you built the atmosphere brilliantly.

- Characters

Kendra and Doyle were as Kendra and Doyley as ever, if that makes sense. It was interesting to see Kendra in a new situation, and it was quite funny that she decided to use the line "Be careful what you wish for" seeing as earlier on in the chapter she said she wanted to be "out there doing something." Oh the twists of fate haha.

I liked that the mysterious man had an accent, I thought that added good character.

- Character Development

It's so lovely to see Kendra and Doyle's relationship blossoming. They're really close to each other and I just want something to happen between them so bad! But of course, they're spies and partners... who keep having their memories wiped... a bit of an awkward relationship I suppose! To see Doyle caring for her was very sweet though.

- Dialogue

Was great again - very realistic, I can't write dialogue to save my life, so I'm in awe of you.

- Plot so far

There is still so much mystery and suspense in this story! It sucks you in and encourages you to read on. With each chapter I become more curious. It's brilliant, and I love seeing the plot develop.

- Grammar

Seemed perfect to me! I didn't notice anything.

Another great chapter. If I was to give you any CC it would just be to make sure that things don't get too confusing (but ovbiously, you gotta keep the mystery going!) otherwise it may put some people off. But otherwise, I have no CC. This was brilliant and a really enjoyable read! K and D are both very strong OCs and your writing always flows excellently.

Hope this review was helpful, feel free to re-request any time! :)

~ TallestTower

Author's Response: Wow. That was an overwhelmingly large review. And I'm sorry I haven't responded until now, but I need a little time to marinate on it. Yes, I am like a kind of steak.

Your guess about the beginning of the chapter was correct. It was like a mini-mission. Maybe I'll stick something in the dialogue about it.

Suspense is always a good thing. I'm happy that you thought I had some. I guess I dropped it in by accident. Oh well, sometimes life is serendipitous like that.

Kendra and Doyle being Kendra and Doyley is a good thing. Especially since I created them - I want them to be pretty consistently like themselves.

Ha! I never thought about how that line really does come full circle. Irony but not of the dramatic variety.

Oh! I forgot to talk about Sectumsepra. I think, and I'm not sure what other people will think about this, but I think that Severus would've told other Death Eaters about this, or they would've seen him use it. I just figured members of the inner circle would be aware of it.

I'm going to work on the confusing. It's just a little hard since I know everything about it - since I made it up. It's hard to know how much readers are able to piece together.

Thank you for the marvelous review! I really appreciate it.

Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

  
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

  
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


  
 
 

fanfictionworld.net