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Review:hellonashville says:
Hello. :) Your story is so unique in the way that it uses the OC that I second thought my prejudice against OC. I do have a couple of things I'd like to go over in this review. The plot and idea was new to me, especially the part about the Americans being the spies. The characters of K and D were a little complicated because of the name change, but if one actually pays attention and doesn't skim it isn't too much of a problem. The romance that starts a little in chapter 3 was quite refreshing because it wasn't an 'in your face' romance. It is one that can span a novel, not just Oh I love you, I love you too, lets be together even though the Organization wont let us, the end. type of deal.
There is room for improvements in the way that the overall story is a bit confusing. However, after reading it I can say that it gets less and less confusing, and I'm sure it will continue in that way as the story unfolds. You also have a couple of grammar/convention issues. You sometimes skip words or put them twice without thinking. However, a quick read through would be sufficient to address these issues.
And as for your areas of concern, you are not revealing too much at all. It's perfect the way it is especially if you are going for mystery, suspense, and action.
I was happy that the action started in chapter four because if there would have been one more chapter without major action, then (as a reader) I would have become uninterested. All in all, this is a fantastic read and I plan on continuing reading it and adding it to my favorites. :)
I would love to see more of your work in my Review thread.


Author's Response: Wow. That's a good review. You really covered a lot.

First, I'd like to say that I'm glad you liked my OCs and might think OCs are worth a chance now. These do, after all, exist for a purpose beyond romance.

I'm going to go and do those read throughs for grammar and conventions this weekend, I think but thanks for pointing that out.

I'm sorry that you were ever confused, but I'm really glad that that cleared up as time went on and that you appreciated the beginnings of the romance between K and D.

Sorry about the action being such a long time coming. There was just so much set-up work for this fic. I needed the reader to know a lot before we could get going for real.

Thank you for the review!

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