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Review:lovable36 says:
The begging was strong and you cought my attenion by useing dialogue to introduce the charcter. Your choice in words were somewhat weak in spots but overall it was a well written story. i feel the ending could have been a little more stronger. i think you should have gave the read a little taste of what they will be readiing in the next chapter. it was weak but still had me beaging for more so after reading this on i want to know whats comeing up in your next chapters.

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