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Review:The Arethusa Got Lucky says:
Wow. That was terrible (in the sense that you say a storm is terrible--that it's powerful and terrifying, not in any bad sense). Ginny has, for the first time in any story, scared me. I know and can understand how a parent can be upset with their child(ren), but the depth of Ginny's anger is unfathomable.

The emotion in this story is extraordinarily strong. It moves very quickly, and pulls the reader to read quickly, giving the story a rushed, almost frantic, air. Well done on that count.

There are, I'm sad to say, a few grammatical and spelling errors. When you introduce a sentence with a present participle (such as "Feeling desperate"--I think they're called participles in English; my grasp of grammatical terms is better when it comes to Latin than to English), you need to follow with a comma. In fact, nearly all your grammar errors were missing commas, and commas are slippery little beasts at the best of times.

Those mistakes do not harm the story, though. Overall it is a well-done, very moving piece. If I were a crying man, I'm sure it would have left me in tears. As it was, it was still rather close.

Author's Response: Writing Ginny that angry was something I hadn't planned on at the start, but when I got there the words just started spilling out of her mouth. I tried to think about how she'd lost so many people in the past, and how awful it'd be to lose a child when you finally thought things were safe again.

Commas and I do not get along at all, it's one of the things I struggle with the most, so thanks for that tip, I'm going to try to go through and fix that next time I get the chance.

Thanks for leaving such an in depth review!


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