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Review:nisalurve says:
Alright, this is WittleAna from the forums here with your review.

The concept isn't original, but the story is. Very good. I like your characterizations, they're spot on, especially with Hermione pleading to go to Dumbledore and stuff. The chapter seems kind of sudden, though. I think Voldemort has means of contact with Draco other than a letter that can be intercepted. The Dark Mark? I think that they kind of hurried off, in that way, it seemed unrealistic. Also this chapter is huge. I would split into two parts, and work on cutting down your paragraphs, you have one that's nearly half a page long and it definitely could turn the reader off. But besides that this was a fairly good start.

Author's Response: I've had the complaints about the spacing before and my more recent chapters have been adjusted to fix that and I do intend to go back and edit the earlier chapters as well. I wanted the first chapter to be sudden because I wanted to throw readers into the action before they got as much information as they get in the later chapters. The owl was Voldemort's way of communicating with Harry not Draco and I know there was probably a better way for him to contact Harry but I didn't want to use the visions like in the books and I figured that at 3am chances of interception were slim, although you find out later that Draco's owl didn't really have to fly all the way from Voldemort to Harry since Draco was still on the grounds so it couldn't really have been intercepted. Thanks for the review :).

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