|Review:||Miss Lily Potter says:|
So. I've read the second and third chapter, and I promise, this review won't be as long and obnoxious. Ahem. Sorry about that, by the way... However, it is about both chapters, so... Make of that what you will. (:
Again, I think I should mention spacing... It was double in parts, but there were a lot of lines with no spaces, and it was odd to read. :/
I like how Lily's looks are the opposite of Harry's; her mum's looks and dad's eyes. It's kind of cheesy, but I like it. (:
Erm, there were some grammar issues in this chapter (both of them, actually), but I think the types of issues were pretty covered in that review. I didn't do specific examples, because A) it's really a personal decision and B) they can be transferred over, they're basically generic grammar things.
I like this, and I think the God's idea is really original, but I feel I should mention: Lily is dangerously close to being a Mary-Sue. She was the special little kid, and she's the brother of Harry Potter, and she's brilliant at magic, and she's a God. I'm not sure if you work to dispell some of this "sue" ness she has going on later, but as of now, she seems pretty perfect.
xD I adore Lily's voice. I love her little comments on everything, and her sarcasm. (: Great job with her.
Er... I have two issues with your magic rules. I think Dumbledore can do nonverbal magic without a wand, right? It's not common, but people who study enough can do it. :/
Also, Legilimancy is more than just seeing memories, if I remember correctly... I thought it *was* reading minds, but not to a great extent.
Ahha, Ron's such a pansy. (: I love it.
I think Harry, Ron and Hermione are pretty close to who they are in the books, but they seem just a *bit* off, almost like actors playing them rather than actually being themselves, you know what I mean? I don't know if I can really describe it, but it just seems slightly off to me... I don't know.
I like this story, I really do. (: Another good chapter.
Author's Response: The "sue" ness of Lily does get dispelled later on in the story. While as of now she (as well as Harry once he learns how) can break all of these seemingly once absolute rules there will still be things that they cannot do in regards to dark magic (I don't want to give to much away). I'm glad you like Lily's voice I absolutely love writing her. And as for the issue concerning Dumbledore, the fact that Lily does her magic nonverbally is not the big deal so much as her lack of a wand. And while in the movies Dumbledore as well as other wizards have the ability to perform magic without their wands, in the books there is never anything mentioned to suggest that Dumbledore or any of the other characters can actually perform magic without their wands (at least not that I noticed). I'm glad that you enjoy the story though.