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Review:Abhorsen says:
First review! YAY! And oooh was that spooky. I think you absolutely nailed the characterization in the entire fic. Moody and his 'constant vigilance', Dolores and her corporate ladder climbing, and most of all Crouch. You've made him slightly more of a sadist than we saw in the books but truer to the sense of character that JKR gave us whiffs of. I really enjoyed the whole interplay between him and Moody during the DADA final - and that Moody was on to him. It seemed to me that that made a lot of sense, because Moody couldn't have possibly been a good investigator without sensing something was wrong there.

I will tell you that I wasn't immediately gripped at the opening. And I don't really know what to suggest to help you out there, but I thought I should tell you that I felt that.

Good job. 9/10

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my work.

I'm glad you enjoyed the characterisations and thought I had them down okay. I wanted Barty Jr. to come off more as a 'serial killer as a youngster' type, so if you found him more sadistic than in the books, I got that right.

I see what you mean on re-reading the story about the beginning. I meant it to parallel the canon scene with Severus coming out of his testing and getting bullied by the Marauders. But, I see it's just a bit of a slow start to the story.


I'm especially happy that you liked the interplay with Moody and Barty Jr. I really thought that Moody and Barty Jr would know each other and that Moody would be suspicious of him.

Thanks again for the first review.


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