I think what you nailed here was the details of being left behind. Anyone can describe loneliness, or shame, but you figured out what it felt like to be Ginny, and be left alone. Like how she was almost part of the trio, but not quite, and how she couldn't imagine having Harry to herself with nothing threatening them. You also got a bit of her temper in there, as you described her hexing him.
The one part I didn't quite feel comfortable with was the bit about living the life of Harry's past or future girlfriend. I think it was because the message that sent to the reader was that she was defining herself by Harry, and that Harry's girlfriend would be her title, if that makes sense. I get it that she felt like a large part of herself belonged to Harry, but maybe it's the tiny bit of feminism in me, but I didn't like the implications of that sentence. But I'm grasping at threads here anyway.
You didn't need a beta for grammar or anything like that, and it's kind of hard to criticize this after you reveal you wrote it because your husband left for four months for military. :P But either way, it was a short, touching piece of work.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate you taking the time to come over here and check it out for me!
hehe, the reason I figured out what it felt like to be Ginny because I was vaguely feeling at that moment in my life what it actually DID feel like to be here. The sorrow that pulsed throughout this story was my sorrow, having sat down literally 5 minutes after my husband left to write this, so I could capture her in that exact moment.
I hope you understand that I respectfully disagree with your opinion about the part of her describing herself as Harry's girlfriend, though you are certainly entitled to it! I don't necessarily think that she was defining herself by him, or rather I didn't write it that way. I think what she really realized in that moment was how much he actually meant to her. That she wanted to be his girlfriend in the future, wanted to share everything with him, because a future without him is no future at all. And when you love someone that deeply, a part of you is kind of defined by that relationship.
I draw from my experience here, because you can ask any of my patients at the clinic I work at, and they'll probably all say "military wife, left alone here with no friends or family," and they would certainly be right. But I'm also a physical therapy student, a daughter, a friend (to no one in this freaking state!! lol) etc. I call my husband every night, and I miss him so much, but just the fact that I'm able to get through my days and live a life that's separate from him highlights the fact that I'm independent and strong, much like Ginny. But there's always that ache there, like when I come home from work and go to sleep with a large, gaping space next to me (like I should be doing right now lol!).
So I guess what i'm trying to say with all that long windedness, is that in my humble opinion, in that very moment of weakness, perhaps Ginny did define herself by the relationship, but she is independent and strong and able to lead this life and go through her day to day tasks without having to dwell on this.
I don't know if that made any sense at all, or if I made it too personal to really jump from my real life to Ginny, but that's what i tried to do! :)
Again, thank you so much for reviewing!!