Hi, it's boysof_p0tterfan509 from the forums, here with your review! :)
I would first like to say that you did very well with your pairing and lyrics, and I found it clever how you managed to work the lyrics in in a few lines. This one in particular stood out to me: "She still wanted the touch of Lysander's hand, for him to kiss her in that stupid leather jacket as they laid in the sand, and even all the needless drama he caused." Nicely done. Oh, and I liked the repetition of the words 'bad romance' throughout the story, because it sort of emphasized the situation that Dom had been in before. I also liked how you implied that there had been some history between Dom and Scorp, and the ending was a bit refreshing and light-hearted after the angsty beginning.
I enjoyed your characterization of Dom as well. She always struck me as the more rebellious, if you will, of the three children, while Victoire was the dainty princess-type. I liked how you made her sort of mother-like and protective of her sister as well, which you don't see much in stories that involve both sisters.
One thing I think you should work on is breaking up your longer paragraphs a bit more. Don't get me wrong, your description is very helpful in setting the scene and bringing your characters to life, but sometimes people may shy away from huge paragraphs looming at them from the computer screen. Other than that, I thought the one-shot was very well done.
Thank you, again, for taking on my challenge! :)
Author's Response: Hey there!
Thanks! ;) I do try to be subtle, sometimes. In others, I find it better to bash the reader in the head in a way that isn't so clandestine. Yes, I like ending or beginning on a good note, if I can't . . . I like fusing some humor into the piece. Not all my stories have happy endings, but I think that's true to life. . .
Thanks again! I'm really glad that you like my characterization of her. She varies from story to story, but I must admit she's always the one more apt to be rebellious in my stories. The one that has a vulgar tongue and is a bit too violent for her own good, but I do like it when she and Victoire get along. I hate pieces where they are constantly bickering and insisting that they loathe one another. They're sisters. It shouldn't be like that. >_<
I know what you mean. People comment on it all the time, but it's something I refuse to change. I hate small, short paragraphs. I adore longer paragraphs, even when I'm reading. Perhaps, I'm odd like that - but I like to be overwhelmed in description. I've never liked sparse pieces so much as the ones that divulged a lot of emotion or scenery.
You're quite welcome! It was quite challenging trying to infuse the idea of a 'bad romance' with dancing in the rain, but I was bound and determined to do it. So, thanks for the challenge, I guess? xD