Hey! Sorry it took a little bit for me to get to you! Life has been strange lately, but I'm so glad you requested this!
It's fantastic, and so touching. Your author's note at the end really hit me (as if the story hadn't already!), and it made it even better than I already thought it was. Kudos for being so thoughtful to write this and so brave to share your innermost emotions. It truly made for an enjoyable read.
The opening sentence is beautiful in its simplicity. It carries so much weight with it and definitely sets the proper tone.
Your word choice is at times masterful! "Maelstrom" is definitely my favorite; brilliant usage of the word.
I love the observation that she typically didn't mind that people didn't see her as part of the trio, yet at that moment it stung. It just makes a lot of sense to me with her characterization.
This particular paragraph is very hypnotic and wonderful: "Sunlight shouted through the window, painting the walls wildly yellow, begging her to come outside and enjoy her last days of summer. Sprawled out on the patchwork quilt covering her bed, the light poured over her small frame and lit up her hair. He loved her hair when the sunlight hit it." It's just simply beautiful.
The one that follows it is also amazing! Actually, looking back, it's almost like your writing gets stronger and stronger as you go on (but especially in that middle section!) like you got into the swing of things. Whatever you were feeling as a writer in that moment, you should definitely try to capture it again in the future.
"And when he did return, after the hugs and kisses and tears, she'd give him a good hex for leaving without saying goodbye, no matter the circumstance." - That's just a very cute sentence, and much needed subtle comic relief to lighten the mood and break up the tension. It also seems very in character to me. (:
It's really the final sentence that gave me the chills: "And with that, Ginny stood up, brushed the wrinkles out of her robes, and went downstairs to help her mother clean up the mess left from the wedding." It's the only thing she could do, really: go on with her life. But the sentence has such a melancholy feel to it, as if there is no more life in her and she is merely going through the motions. It's almost as if, by being tough on the outside, Ginny loses her spunk on the inside. I really feel for her there and can't help but wonder how she manages for the next few months. Her actions seem so mature; it's terrible how war forces the young to abandon their youth in favor of facing the truth with a chin up.
I have to commend you for writing this. Her thoughts at that moment had never occurred to me, and now I feel a lot of pain for her. Thank you for writing this and for requesting a review. I honestly think you're doing just fine without a beta! Feel welcome to request a review again in the future!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to come over and review! I appreciate it!
this story was somewhat difficult for me to write because I was in such a state as soon as he left, but it was really a feeling I wanted to capture because I feel like Ginny would have felt the same way when she realized she was on her own.
Maelstrom is one of my favorite words, I'm not sure why. It's just fun, and the double vowel is always a good time!!
The paragraph about sunlight is probably my favorite in the whole story, and I could definitely see how she would be lying there, unhappy, but bathed in this beautiful light, almost as if it was Harry telling her to go out and enjoy herself before it's back to business. Harry is kind of her sun anyway, though she mostly tries to put those thoughts behind her so she doesn't drive herself crazy with worry!
I definitely agree with you about my writing getting stronger as I go on. I could really feel the energy start to pour from me as I calmed down a little bit. I hit my comfort zone!
As for Ginny not being part of the trio, this was not something I'd considered before. After reading all the books and everything, it didn't occur to me that Ginny might feel left out of the trio, and it wasn't until I was reading a story for the story seekers podcast that the realization hit me. And I think for the most part, she does well with it, but it is in this one time of despair when she finally loses it and feels somewhat upset at not being included.
I added the bit about hexing in, because I feel like there is just no way that Ginny Weasley would sit down for a spell and have a good cry without experiencing any anger at all. So the hex was my attempt at springing that frustration and anger!
The only thing I could really think that Ginny could do would be to go and help her mother clean up. she's not the type to sit by the window all day and swoon. The thing about it is, I did the exact opposite when my husband left. I wrote this story, validated for like 5 hours, then published it and got a banner. Then, I went back upstairs, saw all the spots where his toiletries and clothes had been, and I started crying again. Ginny is much stronger than I am! But yes, I agree that she's somewhat empty because it's like a piece of her is missing. Harry always carried a piece of her with him, whether she wanted him to or not- that's just what you do with those that you love. But she goes through motions of a daily life and tries to live through things as best she can, and I think her independence really gives her a boost during this time.
Thank you again so much for coming to review for me! I'm glad I'm doing ok without a beta. Her thoughts at this time never really occurred to me either until I lived through a mild version of them, and then I understood what it must've been like for her to hide it all and go through the motions. :) You're so kind, thanks again!