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Review:BusinessJournal says:
Hello, BusinessJournal in with your request!

I think this is a very interesting and unique plot-line, however I do have a few qualms. I thought the story had a very, very quick start. For instance, we're not even quite sure of which year the trio is in, how far along they are in the year, and just other small details like that. It was almost as if this chapter could have been the climax of the entire story. It was good, just almost abrupt. You've also got some problems with paragraph spacing, especially between dialogue. Perhaps if grammar/spacing aren't your strong suits, a beta is a WONDERFUL thing to have, and they're available on the forums :)

That being said, I do think this idea for a story is unique and original, and you could go very far with it. It looks like you've got a great foundation on which to work as far as the plot goes, but perhaps just working in some small details here and there would be beneficial :)


Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I have had the issue with spacing be mentioned before and my previous chapters have been formatted accordingly and I intend to change the first few chapters as soon as possible. As for the first chapter being abrupt I understand where you're coming from however I intended for it to be that way. As you continue reading your questions about the trio's year and such are answered. Thank you though I will keep your comments in mind for future stories.

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