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Review:siriusgirl1 says:
This chapter is extremely anticlimactic compared to the other one. The first is filled with action, but this one is short and mostly banter. To balance that out, I would recommend splitting the difference between the two, maybe by adding the office scene from the last chapter into the beginning of this one. Either that or add the telling of the prophecy into this one. The difference between the two is just so choppy it detracts from the story.

That will also partly solve the next issue I had with this chapter. Sirius and Remus sort of get thrown in here randomly. Because Hermione had mentioned the Dept. of Mysteries fiasco in the previous chapter, I had assumed that Sirius was dead, only to (surprise!) find him alive and well and standing in Dumbledore's office. That was really confusing. And neither he nor Remus seemed to serve much of a purpose in this chapter, either.

Now, that's not to say that I didn't enjoy this chapter. I thought the lively banter was endearing, just a bit out of place, considering the gigantic cliffhanger that ended the last chapter. And then to reach the end of this one, and still not know what's going on? It's a bit extreme.

Again, the characterization was good; that seems to be one of your strong points. There were a few parts that didn't feel quite right, notably when Sirius shouts at Remus for not telling him about Lily, Jr. That section of dialogue was a bit awkward. The rest, however, was charming. I really liked the back-and-forth between Sirius and Lily arguing about telling how Lily ran across Remus on the full moon. That part made me smile.

Overall, a strong chapter, though less so than the first one. Still, nicely done! 7/10


Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I do agree that this chapter is very anticlimatic compared to the first one which was the reason I requested reviews because I wasn't sure if it was to the point where it might hurt the story overall. And yes the fact that Sirius is alive was quite a surprise, I tried to make Hermione's comment in the first chapter allude to the fact that he was still alive by saying we all barely got out of there alive, but I just couldn't bear to part with Sirius and I had to have him in my story (I'm a sucker). I'm glad you enjoyed the banter though I was hoping to lighten the mood a bit with this chapter.

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