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Review:inthedeadofday says:
Hey! I liked it and all, but as long as you don't mind, I may want to do some critiquing.
Sorry, but the dialogue (and parts of her personality) were just kind of bugging me. It all sounded way too formal, especially Rose with her parents. It's things like 'you are welcome' versus 'you're welcome' and that sort that tell how close people are. And as for her thoughts, it just sounded sort of stiff. As in, I can't imagine people actually thinking like that.
But I did like the way the night progresses, and the story and such.
Sorry if I sound mean, I just was trying to help. I haven't read your other story yet, but think about that as you write it. =)
Much love!

Author's Response: thanks so much for reviewing and letting me know! I thought it was a little off too but I just really liked it. I may go back and edit it some another time but I'm really busy with my other story now. I think you'll like that one better if you check it out...

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