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Review:dracos_hotter says:
Hello there... You requested so long ago you may not even remember, but I'm afraid that I've been rather FAIL.

So!

"Just bloody brilliant, Lil, chided her conscience. Now he's going to think you're a loony bin escapee with nothing better to do in her free time than naming the shop's pets." I love Lily's inner voice. It's so very... realistic. It adds a lot to my perception of her. She just seems more of a human being with thoughts.

""I'm more of a dog person, really."" And that's how everyone knows that the handsome man is Sirius. Because really, it's like a catchphrase of his. A good cliche, if you will.

"She hadn't even asked his name." Ah, the mystery of the unknown. Good job on drawing people in, there.

A very good start. =)

xE

Author's Response: Lol I'm glad you thought Lily's thoughts made her seem more realistic. I tend to make a lot of my characters have thoughts of their own, just because I can't always convey what they want to say through dialogue and description (and I tend to think a lot, myself).

It's a catchphrase? Hahaha. I just thought it would be sort of ironic, because his animagus is a dog. But I'm glad you liked that bit ;)

Thank you for taking the time to read and review!


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