I'm sorry that it's taken me so long to leave this review, I've been really busy as you already know. I honestly don't know where to begin, this was such a lovely One-Shot. Sirius and Saleena are two of my favourite characters, it was nice to see them paired together in this story, they have such an amazing chemistry.
I think one of your other reviewers already pointed out the similarity in their family life, which is one of the reasons why I admire this pairing so much. Both of their parents are prejudice to particular groups, and both Saleena and Sirius are reluctant to acknowledge such prejudices because they know that they are wrong. I already drew similarities between Walburga and Kirreonna whilst reading All is NOT Fair in Love and War. Now I know why I always liked Saleena as a character, she reminds me so much of Sirius, she's even sort of like a god mother to Draco in the respect that she nursed him back to health during the early chapters of the novel and she was so easger to look out for him.
You did a great job of bringing to light Saleena's internal struggle to choose between her love for Sirius and her loyalty to her family. You underlined the pros and cons of the options that she had, and through the process of doing this you drew the reader deeper into the story. For a second I almost felt as though I was faced with the exact same complicated situation that Saleena was having to deal with, so bravo - it isn't often that an author is able to do that. You did a really good job of highlighting Saleena's need to hold back, it's understandable that she should feel that way. From the way you wrote you could tell that she wanted so much to just go with her heart, but her mind was preventing her from doing so. I'm really glad that she kissed him in the end though, it really was the 'perfect' moment.
I loved Sirius in this. He stays in canon, yet it's easy to see how Saleena has effected his behaviour, he was so cute in this chapter. I like the fact that you made it clear from the start how infatuated he was by her, if were to hold back as well then it would have been very confusing lol. Sirius was simply brilliant in this, he was so calm with her, even when she was yelling at him. He was like the voice of reason, especially when he presented her with the 'third option'. I admired his determination to make their relationship work as well, would it be really cheesy of me to say 'he's her Romeo'?-lol, that does sound cheesy!
I liked the structure of this. The two different layers gave the readers a wider perspective of what was going on in the scene and what both characters were thinking. You switched the POV's at the perfect times, so all in all the structure was very effective. My favourite would have to be when Sirius hints to the reader that he's about to kiss Saleena, and then it switches to Saleena, like a sort of mini-cliffhanger until he actually goes in to kiss her.
The writing was brilliant. As i've said in the past, you have a gift for telling a story in the right way. You give the perfect amount of detail so that the reader always knows what's going on and you write LOADS so whenever you update it is well worth the wait (or in the case of a one shot - long enough to tell a brilliant story without rushing through it and confusing the reader).
There were a few badly worded phrases and a few mistakes here and there but I think I got them all when I sent you the PM.
I wondered, would it be a possibility to have a Roxi One-Shot seeing as you've had like two Saleena ones? I think that a Roxi One-Shot would be awesome, of course you don't have to, i just thought it would be a great read!
Well, I think this stunning piece of work deserves nothing less than a 10/10, and it's definitley going into my favourites.
Keep up the amazing work Deana.