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Review:snoopygonewilder says:
I have to agree with everyone here, your story actually is pretty good, but the grammar errors are too many. I cant say I'm the queen of spelling and grammar, I'm actually pretty bad to normal standards. But when it becomes so difficult to read, that people wont read to avoid the inconvenience, you should probably have someone proofread it for you before posting...

Don't get down, its a good story, I really like the idea. You seem to really want to write it, because you've written seven chapters already, It takes me a few months to write each one of mine. Please take this constructively and not as a criticism, the fact that you want to write is great.

One advice, don't quote " " actions, quote the dialogue. just as a starter.

Keep on the story, I'll keep on reading.

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