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Review:George Whitman says:
Hey Becca! I can definitely see the parallels between this and King Me. The structure is the same but you have a much simpler style of writing. It really sets you apart from Gubby and is not necessarily a bad thing. There were parts of this that I really liked. The part where Tom crushes her paper angel and the part where Minerva talks about her bun. Both are great because we see Tom's sick character shine through and we can relate to the bun as it was established in canon. It shows us that this is the same Minerva that we've read in the real books. However even though she is the same Minerva that we see in the books, we can tell she is much younger. Which is great of course. I suppose the main thing that I didn't like is that you left so much unsaid. I want more more more! Where's the build-up? The crushing details that lead us to the climax? I'm not seeing them. Indeed the climax was great (Tom crushing the paper angel) but the fanfare was lacking. That's alright though, if you wanted to give us the bare bones then you succeeded. Overall this was a good write aesthetically but I must admit that I find it a tad forgettable. It's like a movie I don't mind watching over and over but I don't need to pay attention because there's not much to pay attention too. Great background noise. I'll look up from my work for the really good parts and throughly enjoy them, that's for sure, but I will happily ignore the rest. I hope that you don't take this too much to heart, I'm not a very good writer myself. It's just my opinion.

Author's Response: I've already PMed you about this, but thank you for the review :D. Of course I'm not offended!

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