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Review:Gryffin_Duck says:
Hi Leslie! For whatever reason HPFF isn't registering the fact that I am indeed logged in... Oh well!

Lovely first chapter! This looks like it'll be a really cute story. While I don't normally go for stories that paint Sirius as a player (personally, I just don't see him that way) I like this one because it seems like a lot of that is just gossip and either he's not really like that or he'll change by the end.

I love your characterization! I like how you chose lesser known characters rather than OCs for this since most Marauder stories pair OCs with the Marauders. Emmy's characterization in particular was done really well in this chapter and while I'd like to know more about her I think you gave the right amount of information for a first chapter. I'd like to know more about Hestia and Marlene, but I'm sure that'll be coming in later chapters.

I like the plot so far. I like the way you worked in the war yet switched right back to normal teenage stuff by the end. It demonstrates that the characters know the war is lingering out there, but they can still be normal teenagers and enjoy their last year of Hogwarts. I love the idea of the dares the girls have given each other, especially since they are something they do every year, rather than something new. I can't wait to see what happens with Emmy and her dare, and am also quite interested in Marlene and Remus since I adore Remus.

Your dialogue was very realistic and I liked the way you spaced it out with narration. There is a very good dynamic between the two. The story also flowed very well. You've set up the plot and introduced the characters, which is exactly what a first chapter should do! Great chapter! Feel free to re-request for more reviews once you have more chapters up! :)

Author's Response: SARAH! First off, I'm sorry for not responding back right away, and next thank-you-oh-so-very-much as I really do appreciate the feedback. And I'm glad you are liking the characterisation in this chapter as that was what I was mainly worrying about since I didn't want to give too much away while at the same time providing enough information to grab hold of the readers' attention. And I don't much see the point in bringing OCs into the Marauder era as it's different than the Next Gen. era. With the next gen. there is more room to create new characters, but with the Marauder era you're already given a cast of characters to write. I much rather write minor characters for this and I'm glad you enjoyed each of the characters I chose to write, especially Emmy.

Yay, I'm so relieved to hear that you enjoyed the plot and how I've worked the war and normal teenage tribulation into the story. And I found the dare ritual quite fun to write and am looking forward to having fun with it. Of course the next chapter is a bit dull as its more filler than anything, but it serves its purpose of getting from one place to the next and am almost finished with it, but probably won't get it up before the queue closes for everyone. And I simply love Remus, too.

Ooh, another thing that relieves me as dialogue as always been a weak area for me but I really think I'm improving the more I write. And the narration was fun for me to write, especially since I love getting into the characters heads when I write; human nature is just fascinating. Thanks again for the really detailed and simply AH-MAZING review, Sarah, as I really do appreciate it! :)


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