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Review:Mystery Madam says:
Hi, it's Katie from TGS here as requested(:

I can honestly say this was such a pleasure to read. The use of similes when describing how she felt was perfect, and you managed to get away with two things that are hard to pull off - never revealing the characters, and using a very limited number of words. Amazing.
I have next to no critique for you, but here are a couple of things I found.
This following sentence in the second paragraph reads slightly oddly. It's the use of the word 'me' twice in such a short gap which throws it off a little for me, personally.
'Your arm around me warms me...'
The only other thing which made me pause a second was when the cafe was mentioned. This had not been previously mentioned and confused me a little as I was under the impression that they were flying, but then suddenly they were in a cafe for a 'minute or so'. Maybe if you could clear this up a little.
It sounds fake and cheesy, but this is one of the best one-shots I've read in a good while (I even showed it to a friend), so well done :D
-katie

Author's Response: Thank you Katie! Sorry this reply took so long.

What a wonderful review. I really appreciate you taking the time to do this hun :)
Thank you for the critique! The cafe does seem sort of random, I know :P That's because they're in the cafe the entire time, until she mentions leaving it. The whole story is just her imagination, her feelings versus what is actually going on. I was trying to paint a picture of how feelings might look. I'm sorry that wasn't clear!

xoxo
Shiloh


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