Hi, Lee! =D Happy birthday! I figured since I have been dreadfully awful with keeping up with a timely review schedule, I thought the best time to actually post this review would be on your birthday :). I hope you have had a nice one! :D Well, here I am - at last! I hope I don't offend you...I meant well!
First thing you should know - I have seen only two and a half episodes of Supernatural. One being about Bloody Mary, the other being about how Dean gets sent on a genie's dream trip to when everything was OK (but not really) in the world, and the halfer being when Sam and Dean are stuck in prison and a vigilante nurse kills inmates by faking them a heart attack. So, really, I only know the bare basics. One, two (gorgeous - I can see why every girl at TGS is Dean's fangirl, I personally like Sam just a smudge better...I remember him from Gilmore Girls xD) brothers fight off demons, ghosts, etc. together despite their polar personalities, and the other being that their lives are TOUGH. And that's it. Should I continue watching the show from the beginning?
With that being said, I really liked this story! Seriously, be proud of it! One thing that always bothered me about Harry Potter crossovers is that the authors have a hard time convincing me that the fandom combined with Harry Potter has a seamless joint together - that two words so different can work realistically. I didn't have this problem with your story AT ALL. It was such a simple way of them joining together too! I could definitely see Sam and Dean run across the secrets of the wizarding world with "Of Demons and Dark Lords." I think that takes some serious talent in an author to do that, so I think you sure got a gift :).
But what I noticed consistently throughout these chapters was problems with spelling and grammar conventions :(. Like here and there instead of say, "Dean's" you had "Deans" or two words in a row like "he they" where only one was grammatically correct and the other one wasn't deleted. It's not terrible or anything! I just found it slightly distracting from the story.
The only other thing that I found to be a little touch off was the way that some sentences were just a tad clunky and awkward. Like, I dunno...I had to read over some of them at certain points and read over them twice because the vision wasn't quite as clear as I'm sure it would have been if they were shorter. Here's one: "Sam, who as quietly as possible, let the duffle bag slide slightly down his arm, just enough from him to be able to put the flashlights back into the bag, before hitching it back up on his shoulder. " See? For me, it just doesn't flow. I hope I'm not offending you with what I'm saying! I'm only trying to keep a fair point of view, and help :). I also noticed that at some small points, it was like the story took on an unusual casual tone with using words like "obviously", "well", "really" in the casual sense, kinda like you're trying to convince the reader to go with what is going on as the author. You got us hooked! :D Don't let those extra words take away from the seriousness, suspense, whatever you're conveying to us; the scenes stand for themselves :).
I ADORED your dialogue. It was so realistic! And judging from the very few episodes I've seen of Supernatural, I thought Sam and Dean were spookily accurate. I could literally HEAR Jared Padelecki and Jensen Ackles off the page.
Not to mention - YOU ARE AWESOME FOR SETTING THIS IN THE US. It's so refreshing than the ones purely set in England. I think it made this all the more original...I mean, you have a whole country to play with! And I dunno...I just liked how it was set in modern America ^_^. Oh! And I think it made it really authentic that you gave places little names like with the Church.
I really, really like the way you write :). Your vision has such a cinematic quality to it. Like for instance, when you have the attacks, or even just ending each chapter, it may sound really silly, but I could hear the suspenseful music and I could just SEE the way things go down, especially when their eyes change. Not to mention, you incorporate real life. Cars, phones, bills, troubles, all that jazz. It made it real easy to be like "NOO! They died?" :P
The last thing that you should know (hopefully you don't think I'm a pretentious, procrastinating cow xD) is that I was sucked in from beginning to finish. Well, end of this chapter anyway. Seriously. I was eager to click to the next chapter! I think you have a great story ahead =)
Keep up the awesome work, Lee! And have a wonderful birthday!
Author's Response: Okay, this has to be one of the sweetest and most thoughtful gifts that I have ever gotten for my b-day. You really made my day. And no, you didn't at all! You pointed some things out to me that I really didn't notice before.
Those are all really good episodes, though I can't watch Bloody Mary because it gives me the hebbie-jeebies (I went through elementary school hearing that story. it's ingrained in me to be scared of it). Oh, most definitely start at the beginning. They have little things that happen early on in the show that end up being extremely important in later season (and have people going 'OMG! No way!' when seeing that connection). So yeah, start at the beginning.
Thank you, I'm glad you like it! Yeah, that blend is something I really worked hard on, because I have read some other SPN/HP crossovers that have me going 'that doesn't make sense?' And you are seriously making me blush now, but I am glad to hear that I achived the blend that I wanted.
Yeah, I know there are probably some mistakes. Part of that is just me and part of it is I have a computer that is a but and sometimes switches things up on me. Ande I guess Shiloh missed them as well. I'll have to look through the already posted chapters more carefully.
Hmm, I see what you mean now that you point it out to me. Another thing I will have to look over later. No, you're definitely not offending me. Not at all! You're giving me more things to think about and look for when I re-read my chapters.
Thank you! They are the two I am constantly worrying about, because I really don't want to mess them up. But your comment and the comments other's that have seen the show have made help me feel a little better about that.
Hehe, thanks. Yeah, even though they will briefly be visiting the UK, it is for the most part in the US and I have plans for them that will take them all over the country. XD It's a big playground and I am looking forward to my continuous playing in it.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it Kristen! This was a wonderful gift that had me blushing for the majority of it. Thank you so, so much!