Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:Capella Black says:
Heya, Ella here!

What an original and interesting piece! I really enjoyed reading this, and found it to be a highly believable and satisfying answer to the questions posed by JKR's writing on this pairing.

I definitely thought that the scene jumping was well handled, which is not always easy without using "flashback" etc - which I loathe as it just seems like lazy writing! Instead, your use of time markers is much more subtle and keeps the flow going.

As for the general writing quality, it's definitely pretty high! The only thing I did notice was your tendency to jump around with tenses - for example "I would die for her. Because I loved her." would probably read better as "I would have died for her, because I loved her." as the option is no longer available to die for her. Or something like that... I may be waffling! Anyways, other than the tense thing it's got good flow, good grammar, and good spelling, and the descriptive prose is lovely.

One question - why did he forget the full moon? This might have been left unanswered for stylistic purposes, but it just felt like something that needed explaining; given his general carefulness it seems too OOC to have happened without a good reason. Again, not exactly a major thing, but it would just help to complete the otherwise very compelling exposition of his character.

Seriously though, this was a very thought-provoking and enjoyable read; please request again in the future!

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much!
Wow I'm glad you thought I did the flashbacks okay, they were kind of hard to write!
Thank you so much! I do agree with you about the tenses, thats something that confuses me and something I shall now take a further look at.
Thanks for the question, I'll answer it sometime soon because you do have a point!
Thank you so much for reading & the lovely review! :D


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net