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Review:Capella Black says:
Heya, Ella here!

What an original and interesting piece! I really enjoyed reading this, and found it to be a highly believable and satisfying answer to the questions posed by JKR's writing on this pairing.

I definitely thought that the scene jumping was well handled, which is not always easy without using "flashback" etc - which I loathe as it just seems like lazy writing! Instead, your use of time markers is much more subtle and keeps the flow going.

As for the general writing quality, it's definitely pretty high! The only thing I did notice was your tendency to jump around with tenses - for example "I would die for her. Because I loved her." would probably read better as "I would have died for her, because I loved her." as the option is no longer available to die for her. Or something like that... I may be waffling! Anyways, other than the tense thing it's got good flow, good grammar, and good spelling, and the descriptive prose is lovely.

One question - why did he forget the full moon? This might have been left unanswered for stylistic purposes, but it just felt like something that needed explaining; given his general carefulness it seems too OOC to have happened without a good reason. Again, not exactly a major thing, but it would just help to complete the otherwise very compelling exposition of his character.

Seriously though, this was a very thought-provoking and enjoyable read; please request again in the future!

Author's Response: Hey!
Thank you so much!
Wow I'm glad you thought I did the flashbacks okay, they were kind of hard to write!
Thank you so much! I do agree with you about the tenses, thats something that confuses me and something I shall now take a further look at.
Thanks for the question, I'll answer it sometime soon because you do have a point!
Thank you so much for reading & the lovely review! :D


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