Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:phoenixflame54 says:
This is a very good story and I can't wait for the next chapter- please update!

My favorite part was when you described the way the old man cried for the first time. You captured it perfectly- the element of surprise, the way the tear looked- awesome job.

The short sentences between the long paragraphs of writing are perfect- it makes the story flow. The only time it didn't work was when you said, "He could have been that man." only because went on to say, "He could have been that man. She had given him so many chances to be that man"

This chapter was also short. But then again,I shouldn't be talking- my story is only 600 odd words long XD And anyway, it was a prologue, and most prologues are rather short.

Will this story always be in flashbacks, or will it be in the moment, when it happens? Either way would be good.

I hope you continue to write this story and update soon!!!

Nixie

Author's Response: Yay my first review from this site, and what a lovely one! Thankyou!

The next chapter is written, and I will upload it when I get myself all organised and finish my ever-growing pile of Uni essay *cringe*.

I don't why, all my stories tend to have that short sentence thing going on, and I really appreciate the feedback about the 'he could have been that man' bit. I will have to go back and have a little bit of a play with it :)

After the prologue all the chapters follow the same sort of format with the start of the chapter is in the present and then gradually fades into a memory from the past that connects with the present bit at the start of the next chapter...if that makes sense :S

Anyway, enough rambling from me!

Thanks again for reading and reviewing!!! I will put up the next chapter soon.I hope :P


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

Examples:
  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Submit Report:  





All stories remain the property of their authors and must not be copied in any form without their consent. This is an unofficial, not for profit site, and is in no way connected with J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books or Bloomsbury Publishing or Warner Bros. It is not endorsed by any of the aforementioned parties. Rights to characters and their images is neither claimed nor implied. The use of photographs and/or the likeness of any person contained herein does not imply endorsement of any kind. Any depictions were obtained through publically available sources and therefore fall under fair use. Although we may provide links to other websites, we are not responsible for any material at these sites. You acknowledge that you link to these other websites at your own risk. All original administrative content is copyright of the site owner and must not be copied in any form (electronic or otherwise) without the prior consent of the siteowner. ©2000-2012 Fanfictionworld.net

[terms of service] [report abuse] [privacy policy] [site credits]
 
 

navigation

home

search HPFF
read stories
write stories
login/register
get help
site links
forums
podcasts
Terms of Service
Site Rules
contact us

 
 
 

categories & genres

Genre:
- crossover
- drama
- fluff
- general
- horror/dark
- humor
- mystery
- romance
- action/adventure
- angst
- au
- young adult

Popular Pairings:
- harry/ginny
- ron/hermione
- james/lily
- draco/hermione
- more...

Format:
- one-shot
- short story
- novella
- novel
- short story collection
- songfic

 
 
 

quick links

my account
ToS
random story
site rules
help
merchandise


 
 
 

fanfictionworld.net