Oh goodness, love. I adored this. I am tearing up. This was so sweet and yet so sad!
I love that it was written from Neville's perspective. So many people seem to forget about him. It's sad, really, but apparently he's not as 'important' as the golden trio (that I could care less about).
I like that this wasn't anything phenomenal that he did, but a simple visit to his parents. (Though, I wouldn't say no to a recap of Neville taking off Nagini's head.) Ha ha, but I do think it's nice that you focused on him visiting his parents. It's something that I think he would treasure very much along with those gum wrappers that he drops into his pocket.
It was very in character, I think. I really enjoyed that Neville called himself stupid, but his vocabulary proved otherwise. It's almost as if he underestimates himself, which I feel is very in character, too.
It broke my heart when Alice looked sad because he was crying. It seemed very in character, mind you, but it was definitely very sad.
I like that he intends on keeping his promise, and doesn't just think that he's incapable of doing so - because I did see a radical change in him starting in the fifth books on, but very pronounced in the seventh.
So, very nice job! I really enjoyed this!
My only complaint would be that this was far too short. I enjoyed the descriptions, the scene, and the outcome, though. So I guess that more than makes up for the length. :)
I see you only have two pieces, I hope that you continue to write. I think you've got skill - more than some people who insist upon writing things for us when they make tons of spelling errors, grammatical errors, etc. Which, of course, are the bane of my existence.
Author's Response: Linders - it was so good to recieve this review!
Sad stories are my favourite to write, though I have written some humour, because there is so much more emotion to convey.
I love Neville. He doesn't get the attention he deserves, considering what he has to bear. I had a strong urge to write this one shot, because I felt there was a lot more to Neville.
I am so happy and proud that you enjoyed this. I know there are grammatical errors - but editing will fix that. Hopefully they weren't too horrific!
As for the length, perhaps I could have written more... initially Neville would have spoken to his father in more depth, but I felt what had needed to be said had been said.
Thank you for taking the time to review! It means the world, I'm sure you know. - H