Report a Review

This service is designed to allow HPFF users to alert the staff about inappropriate reviews.

Review:blueirony says:
Sorry for the lateness in this review!

To be honest, I can see how this is an experiment. It is very raw. But please don't take that harshly, I think it adds to the charm of the story.
There are some grammar inperfections and I think some of your sentence structure needs work, but God, what a fabulous story.

I have never thought about Theodore and Luna. Not as a pairing, but just as them together, in one story. I quite like the idea of Draco and Luna because I love the contrast between his haunted character and her innocent one.
Theodore is perhaps more like Luna than we realise. We know so little about him, but the general consensus seems to be that he is not quite like the other Slytherins.
That line you used, where you say that he just wants a mother. That tore at my heart. Poor Theodore!

I loved your characterisations of the two. I really felt like it was spot on.
I think that you might have provided a little bit too much backstory, but the backstory was really interesting. It was lovely to see how you had interpreted their pasts and it really fit in with the story.

What I absolutely loved was the layout. The switching between the two characters. And at the end, it was like they were one character. I have never seen that before but it was very, very clever.
It may have been an experiment, but I hardly think it was a failed one. I really enjoyed it.

Hopefully you enjoyed the challenge and that you learnt a thing or two along the way!

Joop :]

Author's Response: Whoops! I've always called myself a grammar nitpicker...blushing away here. I'll look over it and try and fix whatever's gone wrong!

Thank you so, so much for reviewing! I've had it up for what feels like ages without any reviews, so it's great to see something!

And wow, thanks. Reading it back, yes...the backstory is a tad extreme. I just didn't think i could leave Theodore without an explanation, because he's such a blank slate.

I'm also a lover of the good ol' Draco/Luna. I don't know whether I like them as a pairing or just as friends. I've written several things about them but I can't really get them to work. Whenever I make them a pairing, I think 'no-this would never happen.' Whenever I make them friends, I can't write it without at least one little spark. It's a conundrum! I compromised on my latest one. They're a pairing for a bit, and then it all goes in the shape of the pair. And he's seeing Pansy the whole time. And Luna's seeing Rolf. It's a tad confusing, yes...

Anyway, to cap this off, thank you. It's nice to see good reviews - you know, ones that point out things I could improve :) It was a good challenge, and I had fun writing this.


Your Name:
Reason for this Report:

  • The review is offensive.
  • The review is spam or chit-chat (not actually a review).
  • The review was double posted.
  • The review has formatting problems.
Repeat the number: 259
Submit Report: