I am dying from the gorgeousness of this! You were quite right to keep it simple - too much flowery description would not suit Hermione at all. But even it's simplicity, it's beautiful. It's very honest, which is where its appeal lies.
I didn't work out that Harry was dead until maybe halfway through it - because Hermione was talking as if to an old friend standing right there with her.
The emotions in this are so palpable. And the angst is lovely because it focuses on a kind of longing and nostalgia that nobody really writes about - that of aging, losing friends through death, remembering one's glory days, etc. And you can really feel Hermione's love (the friendship kind of love) for Harry. Particularly when she says he shouldn't have been the first to go. That was so beautiful. Because Harry was a true hero and a champion, and therefore there's something about him that seems so invincible and indestructible - and something very unfair about him being taken from the world, no matter what his age.
And the part about meeting again in a train compartment! In some instances, that could have the potential to be a bit cheesy (though I like cheesy things, so I would have loved it regardless) - but anyway, I think the fact that you're writing this in such a straightforward, Hermione-ish way, counteracts anything that might normally be too over-the-top.
And now that I've babbled on about all of the lovely angst, allow me to share with you a humorous tidbit about my reading experience. I'm reading/reviewing this during the HPFF April Fool's Day site change, so it still has all the images replacing words and everything.
So as I'm reading, I get to a line that reads, "Honestly, half the family must think I'm crazy, bananaering off right before dinner." And I'm sitting here thinking, "What the heck does 'bananering off' mean??" It made me laugh, because it sounded so hilarious, but I thought perhaps it was a funny slang term meaning that someone is wandering around in a slightly crazy sort of way.
But no. It's still during the site change, and as you'll remember, the HPFF staff changed the word "wand" to "banana" all over the place...even when "wand" appears within a larger word such as "wandering."
So "wandering" becomes "bananering." XD
I'm still laughing about it. First of all, I actually thought "bananaering" was a word! And second of all...I'm totally going to continue using the word "bananaering" as a verb. And every time I use it, I'll automatically think of you! :)
PS - Fabulous work, once again!
Author's Response: MELANIE!
Wow, where do I start with this gorgeous (and gigantic) review? I was definitely trying out simplicity here with Hermione, since I thought it suited her emotion the most.
In my mind, Hermione was talking to Harry mentally as she was standing by his grave. I guess that's why she was speaking as though he was right there. I didn't want to let the location slip as that would've been too obvious, but I'm glad you caught on! :D
This was so out of my realm. o__o I'm normally used to Romance. I've done some experimenting with friendship, but never with Harry or Hermione. Their relationship is so long standing and so deep, I was seriously scared to touch it. Friendship-love is definitely what I was going for! :]
Okay, the train compartment part, looking back, is really cheesy. XD I wrote this late at night and couldn't think at all and didn't bother rereading as I was too tired. I just needed some kind of metaphor for Hermione's hope that they would meet again, since I felt like that was a normal wish to have and I wanted to elude to her age.
Lol - "bananaering"?!
That is a cute sort of word, isn't it? It brings to mind the image of a cute kitten for me. Haha, I can't believe you thought I'd honestly use that kind of word for Hermione! XD
I'm highly curious to see how you'll use this word! :D
Thank you for reviewing! â¥ I love this review and it shall take it's place among my favorite reviews. And I shall feed it and hug it and name it Martin and it shall be my Martin. :D