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Review:Laugharama_llama says:
Hi Alicia! I'm here with your review from the forums!

I can't tell you how glad I was when you put this in my review thread! I remember talking to you about it on msn, and every time you mention it, it seems to develop more and more. I'm so glad you threw it at me, or else it would have kept sitting on that long list I have of stories I want to read.

The only sort of criticism I can think of is something that was once told me to me and I will be passing along to you. Try to practice a bit more of "show, not tell." I feel like the argument between Scorpius and Rose could have had some more emotion, to really make the reader feel the strain in their relationship.

I really liked how you started it out from Sophie's POV, but then once you got past the beginning, she disappeared! I think, as a reader, I would've really understood Sophie's worry if you showed the whole fight from her POV. Then again, that's more of a Katrina thing and this is YOUR story not mine :D

Other than that, I don't think I have any sort of downers to bring up lol. I really like the way you're developing it, even within this first chapter. Your hear work on the plot is evident and I can tell that there is more to come in bits and pieces. Even though this was just one fight, I got the impression that it's one of many and the problem of Rose and family v. job still hasn't been solved! DUMDUMDUMMM

Good job!!
Katrina xoxo

Author's Response: Hey Katrina!

Gah, I'm sorry for taking so long to reply and this short response, but thank you so much for your input!


xx


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