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Review:Arithmancy_Wiz says:
I liked it. I really did. It was short and sweet and simple. I'm not a big fan of one-shots as they usually try to do too much with too little, but this was nice and understated...a perfect choice for a one-shot, both in subject and character.

You mentioned symbolism in your review request. I didn't find this overdone at all in that respect. Your last lines really capture the whole point. It doesn't matter which part was real and which wasn't. Luna said her goodbyes and is satisfied that they were heard. For a character like her, that's all that really matters.

As to the dream sequence itself, there were a few parts that weren't entirely clear. The line in the second paragraph that is not part of her dream (...she shifted in her sleep...) isn't really necessary. You've already told us it's a dream. I get where it comes form - like in a movie when you see the person's dream, flash to them thrashing in bed, and then back to the dream again - but I don't think it serves quite the same purpose here. It's also a little disconcerting that you establish her in bed with this line but then she "wakes up" beside the lake before Fawkes appears. Since in the end it doesn't matter what happened in real life and what happened in her dream, I think moving from the falling to the encounter with Dumbledore a bit more smoothly would give a more dream-like effect and bring to life in a different way the true waking moments at the end.

More generally, the piece is solidly written. No mechanical problems. I know it sounds small but things like sentence length variation and adding a few unexpected details (the buttons on the coat, in particular) really make a vast difference.

With a short piece, it's hard for me to find a great deal to comment on, but thank you for sharing. Good luck with whatever you're writing now.

Author's Response: I'm so glad you mostly enjoyed this. I respect your opinion and you've always been very respectful and easy to work with.

I'm also glad that I seem to have gotten the symbolism right without being heavy-handed. I think in a lot of ways that this is my best-written work from a technical perspective.

I see what you mean about the line in the dream sequence and it might not be necessary. I put it in because I wanted to show that Luna was using 'directed dreaming' and controlling her dreams to some extent, but since I explicitly state that later, it might not be necessary. Thank for the CC.

I know this is a very short piece, but I really wanted your opinion on it and I thank you very much for it.


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