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Review:schoenemaedchen says:
Hello, here's schoenemaedchen from the review boards. I got caught up and decided to take a quick glance at your one-shot while we still have a bit of weekend.

So, overall I enjoy a good fluffy story from time to time. I really liked it, though I must confess, I like one of your other reviewers could only think of Anne of Green Gables the whole time. It was a clever way to play around with her hair color to introduce the premise of the story.

Aside from that, I felt like I've read this story before. There are so many Lily and James stories out there, this one seemed a bit generic.

What I mean by generic is this: James meets Lily somewhere at school. James annoys Lily. Lily gets mad at James. James makes up with Lily because he feels bad. This happens in so many stories. Perhaps I've been jaded by reading too many Lily and James stories, but its just what I think.

That being said, I don't want to come off seeming overly-critical, it certainly isn't meant to be critical. There were some great parts. I really, for example, enjoyed how you encompassed the leaves and the fall-scene outside into the story. That was nice. I also REALLY liked talking about her wall, how it was coming down. I think that kind of symbolism can be just beautiful.

All the stuff listed above comes at the end of your one-shot, which is the scene that makes this story unique. If you work on the beginning a bit and add some more elements that take it away from this typical L/J form that so many others have, I think this one-shot would be even better.

So, that's my honest opinion. I did enjoy your story though (who doesn't like to feel warm and fluffy?), and I hope you appreciate my honesty!!

Author's Response: I can't tell you enough how much I appreciate your honest opinion here!! A lot of reviewers try to cover up faults, but I would really like to improve. You've definitely helped a lot with that!

Yes, this is a veryyy generic James/Lily story :] I'm a sucker for those! But I'll take your advice in mind and think about what I can do to make this story better in the beginning.

Thank you for all of the compliments about the symbolism! And I really appreciate you taking the time to review my story :D

~foundriapenguin


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