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Review:Miss Lily Potter says:
Hey! I'm here from the forums with your review. (:

All right. So I really liked this one-shot. It was sweet, but it kind of took a long time with exposition. I don't know, maybe it's just me? I was wondering what the... not 'point', but it's the first thing that comes to mind, was. That said, I really liked the story. (:

I loved how you had Hugo and Rose have differences, but not be complete carbon copies of their parents. It seemed that you were saying that while Rose is kind of OCD, she's also hormonal, something Hermione didn't really act on in the books (to my rememberance, at least.) And Hugo is messy, but got crazy about cleaning, as well as adoring Muggles like Arthur. Or perhaps I read into it wrong. *shrug* Either way, I really enjoyed it.

Oh! Before I forget. (: I love your summary, how you slightly break the fourth wall, and mention the fact that it's a story? I love original summaries. (:

I really liked how this was suggestive, but not overly so. It didn't say anything Hermione wanted to... do..., but it didn't gloss over the fact that Ron IS her husband, either.

I also liked how she poured his clothes on him, comparing him to a pig. That part seemed to really set the scene well; it's not that serious of a story (I hope I didn't offend you by saying that), it's humorous.

Speaking of that, I loved the humor! This had me laughing so hard, so many times. (: I loved the line "... enough crumbs to potentially reincarnate a whole loaf of bread." It made me laugh, and much of the humor came from the fact that Hermione *would* think these things. She's really clever, and many of her funny moments were so. What I'm saying is that you got her (and Ron) really in character. It felt like an extension of the books, to be honest.

Hmm. I wrote down that I didn't think she should know the reason for her being so rude to Ron, but after reading that she mentioned it for the past six months, I'm not sure. That kind of threw me off, though; whenever I've been really mad, I haven't been thinking about why I'm mad, I've been thinking of how to best get the person I'm mad AT to realize why. I think if she had mentioned it later, it might have worked, but it didn't where it was.

I liked the little details you put in. Like, her books were by dust bunnies, so she felt the NEED to clean. And she wrote a memoir. The little Hermione-ish details really made the piece seem more rounded. (:

I normally don't really like 'diary' stories, but I thought this one made sense; she had a reason for finding it, and it knocked some sense into her child-deprived head. (:

I really adored this. (: There were a few minor things that bugged me, but your grammar/spelling was great, and there wasn't anything that bad.

Great job! I know it's not easy to write Ron and Hermione in canon. o.o

9/10.
-Jasmine

Author's Response: Thanks so much for really taking time to write this review. It's extremely thoughtful...It was my first one-shot and first time writing Ron and Hermione, so it was a big step. Or rather...I was struck by inspiration while doing a few things around the house.

I think a lot of inspiration for the story came to me as a newlywed as well. I've been married now just under a year and it was kind of frun thinking about how they would go through stuff as a married couple. Things change so much between school and growing up.

The whole timing thing about her being mad, and why, and the empty nest syndrome has been a comment by some other people too. I'm not sure if I want to change it...partly because people all handle anger differently...but on the other hand, since people have mentioned it more than once you gotta look at it objectively.

Anyways, your review gave me a BIIIG smile. Thanks again for taking the time!

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