This fiction was extremely interesting. I was not expecting this at all and I was thoroughly surprised. Not to say that I did not LOVE it! Because I absolutely did.
Starting off, Remus/Tonks is one of my favorite ships. I just absolutely love them together and when they died in the novel, I just lost it. I think that is why this story was so emotional for me. I was almost crying at the end of it! It was magnificent how you could actually sway my emotions like that. I really felt the emotions Tonks was feeling, I really saw the things she was seeing. It was awesome that I could actually put myself in her shoes and experience it. On the Remus side: although the story wasn't from his POV, I felt you characterized him very well. The whole "monster; I'm not good for you" thing was well displayed. Yet Tonks wanted him so badly. And that's what I loved so much. The only thing I was surprised about when it came to Tonks' character was how she felt about the baby. I never imagined it like that but I can't deny it was interesting.
My favorite thing about this, though, would have to be the actual way it was written. Most of the times she remembers Remus, she simply says "you." And, for some reason, I loved that a lot. I feel by making that simple decision to use "you" a lot really made it a lot more intimate and emotional. Maybe it's weird that I feel that way, but, hey, I do.
The one piece of criticism I have is really not that big of a deal. Some of the sentences were slightly long and where you used commas, you could have used periods to shorten them. I'm sure your intention was to have them flow and I understand this was a SoC piece (which was also EXTREMELY interesting and well displayed) but sometimes it got a little much. Just adding some shorter sentences would have been nice.
Overall, I'm going to give this a 10/10! I think I score really easily and I feel like I just love everything, but oh well! I absolutely adored this piece (one of my favorites I've read) and you completely deserve the score. Your excellent SoC form alone was amazing! Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for this, Kaitlin! I've started to respond to it a few times, but it's been hard to come up with something that expresses my gratitude properly. It means a lot that you've enjoyed this story and that it surprised you (I love doing that :P). It's also great that you liked it even with R/T as one of your favourite ships - I know that I didn't portray the ship too positively here, and that was worrying me, especially with how shippers would react to Remus's strange behaviour and Tonks's inability to cope with her love for him.
It's actually one of the few first person stories I've written, and maybe the narration made the emotions even stronger. I felt like I was inside of Tonks's head, or at least inside the head of someone experiencing all that pain. I'm glad that the "you" aspect of it also worked, as that was what initially came to me when I thought about writing another R/T story. Having Tonks talking to Remus about all this makes it more personal and, because of that, more painful because it's like a letter that she's pouring herself into writing to him.
Tonks's reaction to Teddy is perhaps the thing I'm least comfortable about in this story. On the one hand, I can't see Tonks disliking her own child, not when she wanted it that badly. However, on the other hand, it does make sense because she left Teddy in order to follow Remus and join the battle - there had to be something in JKR's strange way of handling Tonks's character in DH. I did get the idea from Elesphyl's story "Child of Devil Born", which takes that sensitive issue even further.
I'll have to check through those individual sentences for the length. I've a horrible habit of making very long sentences, and the SoC style here did not help that habit at all. :P If anything, I think it made it worse. Thanks for pointing those out! And thank you again for the review - I really appreciate hearing from you on this! :D