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Review:George Whitman says:
This was a great build to the first chapter, which if you remember I thought was solid but lacked a powerful whoa! voice. I am becoming comfortable with your characters and their relationship. I feel the emotion more as I get to know them and I hope that the gradual build up you've begun will continue as the story moves along. I like Victoire and I feel for her. I also like Teddy and I think that you have captured a teenage boy's thoughts and ideas well. Especially when it comes to him trying to meet everyone's expectations. There is one line, however that I thought did not fit his character. It is the one were his thought process seems to be that he does not have time for foolish girls. While this is something that I could easily see him telling people, it is not something that I believe for one moment. I would think that Teddy cares about being in a relationship dearly. It is the only thing he thinks about. He might secretly know that women are foolish but he makes excuses for them because he only sees their beauty. I can definitely see him not realizing Victoire until now though. Seeing as they seem to have a brother/sister relationship. If you are confused by what I think, please contact me to discuss it. Otherwise, well done!

Author's Response: Hello again!

I'm glad you liked me characterizations, and especially that you felt for Victoire. I cannot never overstate how important empathy is to my writing; it's really ( and I know this sounds silly) at the heart of what I do. And, I've already told you that has to be one of the nicest compliments (not that its overly praiseworthy) just that it confirms what I'm aiming to do.

And woot! Criticism!! (wait, what?!) ahaha.I'm severely sleep deprived at the moment. Um, ok, so Teddy would tell people he doesn't have the time for girls, but would think about relationships all the time? Interesting, I could definitely see him doing something like that, esp. around his grandmother--who wants him to focus, and then he says something along, I dont have time for girls anyway, grandma and then go right back to daydreaming about Victoire or other girls? Now, is this like a specific thing from a boys perspective, like only happens when they have on particular girl in mind, or...is it a general thing, like man wouldn't it be fantastic to have a girlfriend? The funny thing about asking you questions here is that you cannot answer them...le sigh, i'll bear it in mind for later. So, i guess this means im confused.i'll be in touch then.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it! And Thanks so much for the review!


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